I am going to get all roll tear here.

I can't do this anymore. Being away from home. Away from Dan. It's starting to hurt. I can't distract myself from missing it. I just want it all to be over. I want to cry all the time. Most of my time now adays is devoted to trying to stop myself from crying. I hate this.

Its little things that throw me into a funk. The smell of my obsession perfume. I wore it alot in the spring, when things were getting really bad at work and with guy and school was sucking. And The acacia thing and then just being so alone. I felt alone all the time. I had a half coffee, half hot chocolate yesterday and I thought I would start crying right then and there. I felt like all the stress from those months just flew back onto my shoulders.

Its like Dan was the one who was keeping the stress and pain at bay, and now that I'm not with him as much, its all slowly creaping back up on me. Slowly weighing me down like sludge. Bent on holding me back. Preventing me from doing what I need to do. i just want to cry all the time.

I don't think I would be able to take it if he didn't come get me this weekend. I can't stay here for two whole weeks on my own. I can't be without him that long. I thought I could but I can't. I need him here. I want him here. I need to be with him. He makes everything so much better.